Never Piss Off A Pregnant Witch
by tkmoore
Summary: Pregnant women are hormonal at the best of times. Add to that being a witch with a Weasley temper and things could get interesting! A one-shot from the 'Hands' Universe.


Never Piss Off A Pregnant Witch

_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the computer this was written on. All characters are owned by JKR, except for the one's that will be mentioned in A/N at the end of the chapter, please read it over so I can give proper credit where it is due. I'm so broke I make the church mouse look like a millionaire, so please don't waste your time or your lawyers._

Ginny stood in front of the full-length mirror studying her appearance. Her long hair had darkened to a deeper shade of red during her pregnancy; it was now swept up with a few tendrils framing her face.

Her dress robes were a beautiful contrast of a lighter and darker emerald green. The under robe was made of a form hugging silk that clung to her like a second skin, the plunging neckline showing her pregnancy-enhanced cleavage while clinging to her eight-months-pregnant belly before falling in folds at her feet.

The outer robe was a slightly darker green than the under robe and was made of velvet. It was long sleeved and tapered to points on the back of her hand. It outlined her shoulders and only covered what was decent while emphasizing her cleavage where it met just under her breasts and hooked with a beautiful robe pin made of gold. The robes then fell straight down to her feet, leaving a slight opening in the middle where the under robes were visible.

They really were beautiful robes; Draco had bought them for her especially for this evenings event – an anniversary party for Draco's mother and stepfather, Severus Snape. Narcissa and Severus had shocked everyone when they had announced they had secretly married on Valentine's Day, less than a year after the war had ended. Who knew that their old potions professor had a romantic bone in his body?

Normally, she and Draco would have hosted the party, but with her advancing pregnancy, Jade and Blaise had offered to step in taking over host duties. Since Severus was the godfather of Blaise and Anton as well as Draco, any of the households would have been appropriate to host such an event.

Satisfied with her appearance, she walked back over to her vanity table to put on the emerald and diamond earrings along with a matching necklace, Draco had bought her after she had told him she was pregnant. She'd had to suppress her laughter when he gave them to her.

Only he would give obnoxiously expensive jewelry to celebrate the announcement of the birth of their first child. He had presented her with the jewelry at the party they had held to make the formal announcement to their family and friends.

After helping her to put on the necklace, she had turned around so he could see, and with a completely innocent look on her face she had asked him, "If this is what I get for the first child, I can't wait to see what comes with the next."

With everyone laughing, Draco had wrapped her in his arms and growled in her ear, "You are a very wicked witch," and then proceeded to dip her while kissing the impertinence right out of her, or at least that was his defense.

Smiling at the memory, she lifted the necklace out of its case. It really was beautiful.

"Draco, could you come here for a moment," she called towards their sitting room.

She walked back over to the full-length mirror and held the necklace against her throat when he walked in, "Could you fasten this for me?"

She watched him in the mirror as he approached. He really was a very handsome man, his black slacks and grey silk shirt were both form-fitting, enhancing his gorgeous body. The emerald silk tie providing bright color in contrast to the black velvet robes he wore, fastened by a silver snake robe pin, in deference to his god-father and former Head of House at Hogwarts.

"I knew those robes would look beautiful on you," he purred in her ear as he fixed the clasp on her necklace.

Their eyes met in the mirror as he adjusted the necklace where it sat at the base of her throat.

He then ran his hands down her chest, cupping her breasts and running this thumbs lightly over her nipples before moving down to the swell of her stomach and rubbing his hands lightly over her distended belly, "Absolutely stunning."

He held his hands still as he bent down and began kissing and lapping her neck. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw their reflection in the mirror.

Putting her hands over his, she tilted her head to the side to give him better access; a soft moan escaped her, "Draco," her voice slightly husky.

"Humm," was his only answer as he moved around the back of her neck and nudged her so that he could repeat the actions to the other side.

She felt the familiar fire beginning in her belly and knew that as enjoyable as this was, they had to stop, "Draco," she tried again.

When he showed no signs of stopping, she gently gripped his hands, "Draco, we have to stop," she gasped after a particularly erotic open-mouthed kiss on her pulse point.

He raised his head to look at her in the mirror, and in a voice that could almost be described as a whine, asked, "Why?"

"Because if we don't, then we will never make it to your mother's party and she would be very upset with us," she could see the gears in his head moving.

His hands began rubbing her belly again and she could tell that he was considering and discarding possible excuses that could get them out of the party tonight to continue what he'd started.

When his eyes became a little darker grey-blue and a sexy pout formed on his lips she could tell he had finally decided that no excuse short of Ginny going into labor would be accepted by his mother.

"I suppose if we must," he started, but was interrupted when he felt a sharp poke to his hand, "Hey, look who's awake."

He turned her by her shoulders and got down on one knee, pressing his lips to her belly. "You're going to have fun tonight once all the belly-rubbers get their hands on you," he told her stomach.

He looked up at her and grinned, his chin still resting on her belly. Looking down at him, she brushed his hair out of his eyes, and she could feel her throat tighten as a wave of love washed over her, tears pricking her eyes, the feeling was so strong.

Seeing the look in her eyes, he stood and gathered her in his arms, hugging her close to him, his voice deepening, "I love you, Ginny."

She closed her eyes, her head on his shoulder and her face pressed against his neck, "I love you too, Draco."

"I suppose if we must, we'd best be going. Are you ready?" He sighed, looking down at her.

"Just let me slip my shoes on and we can go," she smiled up at him before walking over to where her shoes were sitting next to her vanity table. Draco had bought her matching green slippers, declaring that he didn't want her taking chances by wearing heeled shoes this late in her pregnancy.

When she turned back to Draco, he offered her his arm and they walked down to the foyer to Apparate to Blaise and Jade's.

Wrapping her in his arms he bent down and gave her a melting kiss, we'll finish what we started earlier when we get home," he said, and then grinning, he Disapparated them.

When they arrived at Blaise and Jade's, Draco helped her remove her cloak before removing his own and handing them to a waiting house elf. Placing his hand in the small of her back, he guided her over to the receiving line where his mother and Severus were greeting their guests as they arrived.

"Draco! Ginevra! We were wondering if you'd ever get here," Narcissa admonished her son just before kissing his cheek and pulling him in for a hug.

"Technical difficulties," he assured her before leaning over to kiss her cheek.

"Ginny, it's so good to see you, how beautiful you look," she kissed Ginny before bending down, "And how's my little grandbaby doing?" Ginny was shocked every time the matriarch of the Malfoy family would rub her belly and talk to her stomach. It had just never fit in with the image she had of her mother-in-law.

As Narcissa fussed over Ginny's belly, Draco greeted his godfather-turned-stepfather. "Congratulations, Severus."

"Thank you, Draco," then he sighed. "You know, she may never stop if you don't drag your wife away," he grimaced at his wife fussing and rubbing of Ginny's distended stomach.

"I know, and by the end of the night, Ginny will be in a bad mood because everyone rubbing her belly keeps the baby up and kicking her," he smirked. "Swears she's bruised inside out after nights like these."

They both smothered a laugh when Ginny shot Draco a look that screamed 'Help'.

Being the magnanimous husband that he was, he stepped in to rescue his wife. "Mother, were holding up your guests," he urged Ginny forward with his hand on her back. "We will speak with you in the ballroom when you're done."

"Ginevra," her former potions professor greeted her by kissing her hand.

"Professor," she replied with a wary look in her eye, as if waiting for him to grab on to her belly also.

Unable to stop himself, he laughed, "I assure you, my dear Ginny, that I am not…what did you call them Draco? A belly-rubber?"

With a little sigh, she than raised her eyebrow in a perfect imitation of her husband. "Well, you would be surprised at some of the people who turn out to be…belly-rubbers," she said, shooting a pointed look at her husband. "Congratulations, we'll see you inside".

As they made their way into the ballroom, Draco guided Ginny through the crowd, stopping to greet people as they went. By the time Draco caught sight of Blaise and Anton, Ginny's belly had been assaulted by Luna Lovegood, Lavender Brown, both of the Patil twins, and a couple of former Hufflepuffs that he couldn't name.

Sensing his wife's distress, he excused them from the enthusiastic group, only to be stopped by Cho Chang and Ginny's old boyfriend Michael Corner, who were talking with Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas, another old boyfriend of Ginny's and both former Housemates. When Cho reached over and rubbed her belly, Ginny scowled and he chuckled. When the three men moved to rub her belly, Draco pulled her back by her shoulders, and growled at them. It was one thing when the women did it, but there was no way in hell he'd tolerate other men rubbing his wife's stomach.

Hearing Blaise holler for them, Draco sneered at them and guided his wife to safety. When they finally made their way over to where Blaise and Anton were Ginny was scowling deeply. Laughing at her, Jade and Pansy both hugged her.

"What's the matter, Gin-Gin, tired of having your tummy polished?" Blaise smirked at her before giving her a hug.

"Noticed the nasty look you were giving to the Gryffs and that Corner bloke, Draco. I take it you don't want her ex's hitting on, I mean, _rubbing_ on your wife," Anton snickered. "You look gorgeous, Gin," he finished, kissing her hand before giving her a hug, too.

Draco sneered at his laughing friends. Their group had grown in the last few years. Ginny was talking with Jade and Pansy along with her sisters-in-law, Fleur who was married to Bill, and Melodie who was married to Charlie. The former trio was standing off to the side along with Harry's wife, Emily, and Fred and George's now-fiancées and Draco's former Housemates, Melody and Daphne. Sebastian and Marcello had offered to go get drinks for him, Blaise and Anton.

They were all laughing and having a good time; Draco turned his head when he heard a commotion.

Fred and George Weasley were walking towards them. "Make way, make way! Important uncles coming through!"

When they reached Ginny, they both grabbed her up in a hug.

"Gin-Gin, you're finally here," Fred kissed her cheek.

"We've been waiting and waiting," George kissed her other cheek.

"'Cause your belly got here like five minutes ago," Fred added.

"We got tired of waiting for the rest of you to catch up," George continued.

"Finally gave up and went and got us some drinks," they finished together and pushed a glass of pumpkin juice in her hand.

Ginny's face turned pure red and there was practically smoke coming out of her ears. Her eyes had narrowed and Draco could see her reaching for her wand.

Draco's jaw dropped. '_Oh shit, she's going to kill them_,' he thought, when an even more horrifying thing happened. Molly Weasley.

Molly had just caught sight of her pregnant daughter and she honed in on her as if she had 'grandchild radar' on full ping. Not noticing her daughter glaring daggers at her brothers, she grabbed Ginny up in a bone-crushing hug before she started her usual fussing over everything from getting the proper amount of rest and proper diet to admonishing Ginny about the lack of 'support' her dress robes provided her.

Draco had to call on years of emotional control not to burst out laughing at the look on his wife's face, her murderous glare swinging from the twins to her mother after Molly had mentioned support or lack thereof right in front of everybody. Of course, their friends, except for the Slytherins, had no such training and all broke out in hysterical laughter. Even the Slytherins were having trouble holding it in and had their heads turned, their shoulders shaking.

Turning to look at him, she raised an eyebrow at him with a look on her face that screamed, 'I dare you'. They could laugh all they wanted because they didn't have to live with her, but he did, and if he wanted to sleep in his own bed tonight, it was imperative that he keep a straight face. Though Ginny did have a fiery temper, she was usually very much in control of it. However, since the beginning of her pregnancy, her hormones had shred that control to bits and he'd been on the painful end of her wrath one too many times.

Seeing the dull red blush creep down his daughter's face, Arthur decided to save not only his son-in-law but his wife as well. He pointed out that he had just seen Professor McGonagall by the refreshment table, and hadn't Molly wanted to speak with her?

After Molly had hustled away after Minerva, Arthur turned to his daughter and pressed a kiss to her temple, "You look beautiful tonight, princess," and then, unable to resist seeing he added with a wink, "with or without proper support."

Ginny just stared at her retreating father with her mouth hanging open, completely gob-smacked as their friends broke out into even more hysterical laughter. Draco could tell that she was starting to loose it, so what happened next really shouldn't have come as a big surprise.

She couldn't rightly curse her parents, so she turned back to the ones that she could. Had Fred and George not been rolling with laughter, they may have seen the look she gave them, but they didn't. Standing with their older brothers, laughing madly at their sister and their parents.

Draco thought about stopping her, really he did, but then she would have taken out her anger on him, and so… In the interest of matrimonial harmony, he just sat back and watched the fireworks. Well, matrimonial harmony and his own entertainment, as Ginny was brilliant when properly pissed off, even better when it was directed at someone other than him.

Apparently, Fred and George had sensed danger, because they straightened up just as their sister hissed two curses shot directly at them. At first, it seemed as though nothing would happen.

Then they suddenly stopped laughing and got strange looks on their faces. Their faces flushed red and they pulled their robes off, sweat pouring off of them. It then became apparent what one of the curses was when they began to sprout breasts, nice, large, engorged-looking breasts.

Both had looks of horror on their faces, looking up at their sister and seeing an absolutely evil grin on her face. Then they both looked down in horror, their stomachs began to wiggle before distending and growing until they resembled the perfect shape of a very pregnant woman.

The buttons on their shirts popped off, unable to stretch and cover their newly expanded waistlines, wet spots appeared on their shirts as if their breasts were leaking, and looking down at themselves, they had absolutely shocked looks on their faces. Turning to look at each other, they started to scream, pointing at one another.

Their screams got everyone's attention, and the whole room stared at them in shock before someone began laughing. Soon the entire room was filled with laughter.

"What did you do to us?" they yelled at Ginny in perfect unison.

The evil grin on her face spread into a satisfied smirk as she walked up to her brothers, who flinched when she reached out and rubbed first Fred's belly and then George's. "Why, it's a sympathy spell, my dear, dear brothers. Now you'll know what it feels like to be pregnant."

Standing back and crossing her arms, everyone could see the pokes and jabs that emanated from inside the twins, as apparently rubbing their bellies had caused them to feel baby kicks.

"Try carting that around for the next twenty-four hours and we'll see if you ever make fun of a pregnant witch again," she sneered at them.

"We're sorry, we're sorry," yelled George.

"We'll never do it again," cried Fred.

"Now take it off," they pleaded together.

Waving her wand back and forth in front of their faces, she taunted, "Ah, ah, ah, twenty-four hours, remember?" And with an evil cackle, she turned and started scanning the room.

Both Fred and George dropped down in nearby chairs, staring at their swollen bellies.

"Crickey, my back hurts," sniffled Fred as tears began rolling down his face. Meanwhile, George was struggling to get back to his feet, and complaining, "Someone give us a hand up, I've gotta use the loo."

By that point, everyone, Slytherins included, had lost it. There wasn't a dry eye in the place; they were all laughing so hard. Draco had a stitch in his side from laughing; trying to catch his breath, he almost missed Ginny when she started to walk away.

"Where are you going?"

She turned to look at him and his smirk crossed her lips, "Why, darling, I'm going to find my mother."

Blaise, Anton, Jade and Pansy were standing next to him, still laughing.

"Draco, I think you've been a bad influence on her," Pansy snickered.

"If she's willing to go curse her mother, then yeah. Come to think of it… this I want to see. Come on, Pansy." Jade and Pansy hurried off, following in their best friend's wake just to see what trouble they could stir up. After all, they were Slytherins.

Blaise and Anton each clapped Draco on the back as the three watched their wives run off to cause mayhem. Still chuckling, they steered him towards the bar to get a drink.

"I'm glad that little firecracker is yours," Blaise commented, handing him a drink.

"What the hell you talking about? It's usually Ginny running off after Jade and Pansy. And _then_ it's to do damage control, not entice more trouble," he snorted.

"Yeah, but that's what's so great about it. No one expects it from Ginny," Anton said as Blaise handed him his drink.

"Very true," Draco grinned, "I do love when she lets her inner Slytherin out to play."

Looking back at Fred and George, all three men began to laugh again.

"An important lesson was learned here tonight, boys."

"A toast," Draco raised his glass, and Blaise and Anton did the same.

"Never piss off a pregnant witch!"

_A/N: As I was working on 'Telling Draco' I was attacked by this little plot bunny. The part of this story where Fred and George tease Ginny about her belly arriving 5 minutes before she did actually was said to me when I was pregnant with my twins. Of course at the time, had I had a wand, the person who said it to me would have been reduced to a smoldering pile of ashes. But when talking with my best friend from High School, who so kindly reminded me of the incident, well let's just say it was funny as hell thus this ficlet was born for your reading pleasure or torture as the case may be. But in all honesty who of you that have been pregnant haven't wanted to do that to a man at some point?_

_A/N 2: Sorry to carry on but I have to acknowledge dracademented and thank her for allowing me to play with her OC's from her story 'Unexpected'. I fell in love with those OC's and I'm happy that she shares her toys!!!! Anton, Melody, Daphne, Sebastian and Marcello all belong to her. Thank you draca. Also, thank you to dragonsangel68 for taking a peak and laughing along with me and a few suggestions along with it. To answer your question: Yes, I did want to do that to my hubby and did make him wear the sympathy belly…..he wasn't appreciative as I thought he should be._

_Thanks to all who have read 'Hands' and 'Telling Draco', your kind words have inspired me and are truly appreciated……..Thank you all!!!!!!_

_Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all……..Kelly_


End file.
